Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
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Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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