he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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