:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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