You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
