First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
