i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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