party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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