I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i believe in u and ur pee
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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