I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
