dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
