I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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