Do you still have your period?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
