he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
