i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
