i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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