She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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