Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
