You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
