Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
