Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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