when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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