I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
