Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
