I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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