oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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