how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
