I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
