Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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