Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
