sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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