Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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