i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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