i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
please come you make the beer taste better
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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