He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
