david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
