You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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