Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
