I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
