Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize