i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize