We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
