Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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