i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
how does that bad decision feel?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
