..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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