I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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