If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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