My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
