a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
