my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
