At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I will die if light touches me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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