i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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