No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
