every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
