There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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