Me. At least after what I've been through.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
